It's an NBC hospital drama called New Amsterdam, I'm not a fan but value time spent with my wife so I usually stay in the room when it's on.
Last night one of the major plot lines involved a young couple who were planning to get married in about 2 weeks who visited the psychologist with some issues around their impending wedding.
As they go into their story, we find out that they were gifted DNA test kits (leaving aside the fact that that's a seriously bad wedding present) and they took the test. The test revealed that they were half siblings. The problem they wanted help with was that the woman (if I may be so bold as to presume), was understandably not excited to marry her brother. The brother, strangely enough had no problems with the situation. From the very beginning, it was clear that the goal of the psychologist was to facilitate the marriage. (There was a pro forma warning that they shouldn't have biological children, but otherwise it was full steam ahead for this guy.) Eventually he did manage to "convince" the young woman to go ahead with the marriage, and to lie about the situation to friends and family,
The first and most obvious problem is that there are laws about marriage to relatives, see below for NY's.
"A marriage is considered incestuous and void (whether the relatives are legitimate or illegitimate) in the following situations:
- Marriage between an ancestor and descendant
- Marriage between a brother and a sister (whether whole siblings or half siblings)
- Marriage between an uncle and a niece or between an aunt and nephew.
A person who knowingly and willfully performs an incestuous marriage or aids in the performance of such a marriage can be charged with a misdemeanor and can be penalized accordingly."
The third issue is the rejection of science and law for feelings. In this case, the biology (hard science) is unarguable. The law is unarguable. Yet, the psychologist pushed the woman into making this momentous decision based completely on her feelings. As most of us who are rational adults know, basing a significant, major, life altering, decision on feelings is usually not a good idea. The fact that this is presented as an appropriate medical/psychiatric course of action is ridiculous.
My first response was, "When they get divorced can they sue the Dr. for malpractice?".
The unexplored situation was what happens if she gets pregnant, I suspect that it went unexplored because it wasn't necessary to explain that the only response to that is an abortion. Knowing the reality of how mentally damaging aborting a baby can be to both mothers and fathers, I can't imagine the added layer of knowing that the aborting was indirectly the result of ignoring biology for feelings.
Finally, this post isn't about abortion or incest, it's about a worldview that places feelings over biology. It's also about the fact that the everyone said that "gay marriage" wouldn't lead any further than marriage for gay people. Well, I guess the move to legitimize polygamy, pedophilia, and incest just might have shown those claims to be naive or false, probably some of both. Either way, we've now got network TV actively trying to legitimize incest. Why, because you can't help who you love, and feelings trump biology and law.
5 comments:
This hits close to home for me as someone who was adopted because I was given a DNA test kit and I haven't done it yet. Once I heard about someone who found their birth family through one of these kits, I'm even more reluctant to send it in. I feel very strongly that I was put (by God) into exactly the family situation that I should have been in and that I have no desire to disrespect my parents for anything. I know that others feel differently, and that's their decision. I personally don't have any desire to have someone reaching out to me, who I'm biologically related to. My sister felt differently, and we supported her in her search, but I feel pretty strongly about this for me.
I think part of my problem is that the issue of these DNA tests and the unintended consequences (like people finding out things like the story portrayed or being connected to biological relatives that they aren't interested in connecting with)are situations worth exploring. But it's worth exploring in a deeper and more nuanced way than the "screw biology, trust your feelings" way I saw last night.
I know a few adopted people. One guy never cared to find out who is real parents were, as he was with his adoptive parents since infancy. But his mother reached out to him and he eventually relented and met with her, and in doing so established a level of relationship, but also met a brother he never knew he had (don't recall if it was full or half brother), and has had him over to the house. I met him as well.
Another fellow has no desire, either, to seek out his bio-parents.
My sister has two adopted kids, and the daughter has sought out her bio-family, has established a relationship, but still regards my sister and her husband as her parents.
In my case, while not adopted, I sometimes feel I'd rather not have certain siblings reach out to me. Just sayin'.
In addition, with regard to the point of the post, it is always problematic to act on the basis of feelings, because that entails emotion. The saying goes, when emotion is high, intelligence drops. That's due to the fact that in an emotional state folks tend to be less rational in their thinking and that's when trouble finds us. Feelings must always take a back seat to reality, or understand that reality also demands that we be willing to accept the consequences of any decisions based on feelings.
I’ve just never had the desire to know. If I needed medical history it might change, but otherwise not.
Yes, in a society that venerates science it’s strange to see so many people willing to abandon science for feelings.
Post a Comment