If someone says that they will do something. If they specifically say "I will do thus and so...", and then fail to do what they said they would do, how does one refer to that?
Is it a simple oversight to be ignored?
Is it a lie?
Is it just confusion?
What if they fail to do what they said, then they act as if they did? Does that make any difference?
I'm just curious as I am in a situation where this is happening and I don't know how to deal with it and how far I should push it.
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2 comments:
I guess the first consideration is how important or serious the situation is in which the person offered to act. If there is some serious need that the act must be done, and that person volunteered giving assurance that the task will be completed, the failure would indicate a problem of integrity and responsibility. It's a matter of "my word is my bond". The failure to take care of business then becomes a matter of whether or not the person can be trusted to keep his word. The person is now undependable.
This is true even if the person sincerely forgot. That is, the simple oversight. Such can happen to anyone, especially if their plate is already rather full.
Only you can determine the value of the act...how badly it needs to be done...what the ramifications are should it not get done...etc. Perhaps it's time to make other arrangements for getting the task accomplished, or simply doing it yourself. But while in that process, perhaps question the person regarding possible conflicts, obstructions or that he merely forgot. In doing so you can remind them of the importance of the task, any deadline of which the person might not have been aware (which might have compelled quicker action on his part).
"You said you would do this. Is there anything you need to help you get started?" or something along this line.
If they failed to complete the task, but act as if they did, you might ask them to show you what they did...how they made the objective a reality.
If you are concerned about revealing too much here, feel free to contact me with more details privately if you feel comfortable in doing so.
I have this happen all the time, where I ask pretty specific and clear questions and people insist they have answered it, when clearly, they have not, or they answered some OTHER question, not the one asked.
I tend to check it off to confusion/misunderstanding, not deliberate intent to avoid answering questions. I think some time our biases (for all of us) and pre-held opinions make it hard to understand what the Other is saying.
I think this is pretty apparent and common in liberal/conservative dialogs. I'm striving to figure out a way to increase understanding, but my starting with the assumption that they are being deliberately evasive does not seem to be wise.
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