Very often we’ll hear people who have left their Christian faith say something like, “I’ve been hurt by the church.”. I believe I understand some of the pain that would lead someone to say that, but I disagree.
The Church doesn’t hurt us. Broken, sinful, imperfect humans in the church can and do hurt us. Sometimes grievously.
I had occasion to think about this yesterday as a wound I thought was healed up, got opened yesterday along with the pain, came anger and bitterness.
The hurt and anger I feel is real and even somewhat justified, but I need to not blame the church, and I need to work on how I respond and forgiveness.
It sucks, but it’s where I am right now.
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9 comments:
I agree we shouldn't blame THE church, but we can certainly blame THAT church. That church that allowed a pastor to sexually assault women or children. That church that gave support to a hateful or oppressive leader. That church that made the gay folk in it (and maybe their loved ones) feel like garbage. That church that applied an ugly pressure upon the poor to give what they couldn't afford or that church that pressured abused wives to stay with their abusive husbands.
THOSE churches, where such harmful behavior can be blamed and held accountable, to the degree that churches can be held accountable.
Dan, even though you’ve decided to take advantage of a post about how individuals(specifically me) deal with pain inflicted by individuals within churches, to vent your anger.
I’m going to stick to my point. The Church doesn’t cause people pain, churches don’t cause people pain, the inflation of pain is left to individuals. What makes it more acute in a church situation is that it’s generally inflicted by people you like or respect.
The only place I’m going to make an exception is for something like the gay priest/pedophilia/ sexual abuse situation in the RCC. The organization that hid, lied about, covered up, is still covering up, decades of abuse should be held liable in a civil (the same way a corporation is) sense for the damage that’s been caused.
With that said, that’s an issue of civil law, not theology.
To get back to my actual point. Just because you’ve been hurt by an individual (or more) within a church, isn’t a reason to abandon Christianity in its entirety.
If you’d like to dial back the rhetoric and get back on the topic as it’s been further explained to you, feel free. If you don’t think that works for you, that’s ok, there are plenty of other things you can comment on.
I GET the point of your topic. I'm saying that there are times to be upset precisely because a local church holds theology in a systemic way that causes harm and pain. We SHOULD be angry about that, as a matter of God's justice.
It's not rhetoric, it's a matter of right theology, right living.
If you get the point of my topic, then why choose to comment with a rant about a different topic?
If you would like to comment on the actual topic, not what you think the topic should be, then please do so. If you choose otherwise then you’ve got plenty of other places to comment on the topic.
You’ve had your rant, now please show some respect and grace.
But Craig. Dan's right. Even his own church's holds theology that is extremely harmful to the spiritual health and salvation of its congregants...to the extent that anyone who speaks the truth at his blog is accused of "abusive" speech. Worse, most of them...and certainly Dan himself....don't even realize the harm inflicted upon them. I'd prefer your situation. One can't restore what one doesn't realize is in need of it.
Art, I get your point, but this post isn’t the place for it.
I know. Just getting snarky.
I understand. I tend to give folx a lot more freedom here than some others do (with one exception, who can get restored anytime), but this one post isn’t necessarily the place for snark. I’m asking politely for respect in this instance.
You, I’m sure, will understand.
I do.
I've heard similar comments regarding the church, and usually it seems to be an excuse to relieve one's self from all that goes with being a regular church member/goer. I think most such people were considering leaving the church anyway, and whatever issues came about provided that opportunity.
But your point is solid. When some criticize Christians as hypocrites...often because they're human subject to the same temptations as anyone else...and thus no longer attend, it's a similar underlying reason. Their own desire to give it all up (while still pretending to be "spiritual").
It's not the church. It's not the faith. It's humans within the church...none of whom are clones of Christ...who fail to act in a perfectly Christian manner in dealing with issues they find problematic.
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